tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62588182009-02-20T23:53:32.055-08:00I am committed to creating a Christian nation under God, where Bible Study will be required in all classrooms and those filthy ragheads, kikes, and Papists will be required to renounce their evil statue-worshipping satanic faiths and become Pentecostals.Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comBlogger273125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1100299931064752282004-11-12T13:55:00.000-08:002004-11-12T14:56:52.886-08:00

for I, Johnny, your former Attorney General am trotting off into that glorious sunset of later life, where I shall finally have the time to make the gospel albums that I always wanted to make while running my little roadside cafe'. It has been fun, but I am tired, and it's time to putter in the garden (at least, when there are no calico cats around) and work on my new songs. I may check in from

Karl Rove O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17947374719881236468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1100246111109713732004-11-11T23:18:00.000-08:002004-11-11T23:55:39.280-08:00

The liberal media, fresh from lying about our Glorious Leader's combat record in Vietnam where he single-handedly killed a million jillion commies while bringing turkee to our brave troops, is now whining about how my hand-picked successor, Alberto R. Gonzales, wrote a memo condoning torture. Well, DUH! Like my buddy Alberto sez, the Geneva conventions are quaint and obsolete. Look, you silly

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1100193526921085882004-11-11T09:08:00.000-08:002004-11-11T10:58:23.466-08:00

When protesters clogged up Tiananmen Square and interfered with people's right to go about their daily business without smelling those smelly protesters, the Chinese sent in the tanks and squished them flat. We're working up to doing the same with our own smelly protesters. How DARE these supporters of terrorism(*) protest our Glorious Leader's benevolent policy of killing darkies by the tens of

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1100155864373459442004-11-11T01:00:00.000-08:002004-11-10T22:51:33.836-08:00

Does it matter?-losing your legs?... For people will always be kind, And you need not show that you mind When the others come in after hunting To gobble their muffins and eggs. Does it matter ?-losing your sight?... There's such splendid work for the blind; And people will always be kind, As you sit on the terrace remembering And turning your face to the light. Do they matter?-those dreams from

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1100149580843815292004-11-10T20:58:00.000-08:002004-11-10T21:11:54.000-08:00

The Internets are full of talk about Bush's man date. But it's a lie! Look, Georgie and Prince Bandar Bush are just FRIENDS. That's all. They're not holding hands like, like.... SODOMISTS. They're just holding hands like manly men hold hands! And Bandar Bush doesn't have the same name as Georgie Bush 'cause they got married, he's just, like, ADOPTED! Surely you don't begrudge a little darkie

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1100045064507580582004-11-10T01:03:00.000-08:002004-11-09T23:12:06.993-08:00

No doubt they’ll soon get well; the shock and strain Have caused their stammering, disconnected talk. Of course they’re ‘longing to go out again,’— These boys with old, scared faces, learning to walk. They’ll soon forget their haunted nights; their cowed Subjection to the ghosts of friends who died,— Their dreams that drip with murder; and they’ll be proud Of glorious war that shatter’d

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1099686328499634142004-11-09T13:21:00.000-08:002004-11-08T22:15:15.756-08:00

in a vat of liquid fire. Hatred exists for the same reason as religion: because we as human beings have built into our souls a need for an explanation, a need for reasons why our pathetic lives of quiet desperation are so pathetic. The Party understands this. The Party feels your need. We give you what you want -- hatred, hatred of all things liberal, hatred of Michael Moore, hatred of brown

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1099980813504119422004-11-09T01:10:00.000-08:002004-11-08T22:14:08.730-08:00

31 When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, 33 and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left. 34Then the king will say to those at his right hand, “Come, you

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1099952930658691132004-11-08T14:24:00.000-08:002004-11-08T16:35:01.290-08:00

We have a cordon around Fallujah, and are only allowing civilians out. How do we know whether someone is an insurgent or not? Simple! We use the handy-dandy Acme Insurgent Detector(tm)! Point this at someone, and it immediately tells you whether he's an insurgent or not! The use of this device was pioneered by Serbian militiamen at Srebrenica in Bosnia, and detected tens of thousands of

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1099949947138778612004-11-08T13:13:00.000-08:002004-11-08T14:20:11.423-08:00

It's official: Democrats are out of touch with American values. Remember, morality is decided by the majority, not handed down by God. And the majority, 51% worth of them, spoke on November 2. If you are one of those heathen godless Democrats, it's time for me to teach you what your new democratically-ordained values are: Fags are evil, and God hates them. Gay marriage will cause all our boys

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1099692342008337932004-11-05T14:00:00.000-08:002004-11-05T14:05:42.006-08:00

This is a BIG POOPY BIRD. He just decides to use somebody's car as a seat, poops on it, and then flies away. This is a good Republican bird. Like a good Republican talks about chemical wastes and why it's no big deal that people can poop on the countryside with all these noxious wastes and then close shop and fly away somewhere else without cleaning. That's the way to do things, yes indeed!

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1099642884596790832004-11-05T01:14:00.000-08:002004-11-05T12:13:01.986-08:00

Once upon a time, there was a dreamer: Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live outt he true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1099630802909017942004-11-04T13:48:00.000-08:002004-11-04T21:00:02.910-08:00

To that silly young LIE-beral darkie Oliver Willis, who is upset because of this letter sent to the sodomist Andrew Sullivan, and whines that conservatives are "ruining America": Grow up, child. Oliver, you, of all people, should know just how evil the American people can be when hatred and bigotry are used by politicians to motivate them. (Hint: the period 1876-1954, when "uppity negros" were

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1099500885763435792004-11-03T07:18:00.000-08:002004-11-03T10:02:24.630-08:00

Make no mistake about it, Kerry lost, regardless of what happens in Ohio. The only way for Kerry to win was to win big -- by at least 10% on the exit polls in the main battleground states -- to prove that he had a mandate for change and to make the election Diebold-proof. Mission NOT accomplished. While Democratic voters came out in record numbers, so did Republican voters, basically cancelling

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1099465740396526332004-11-02T23:06:00.000-08:002004-11-03T00:17:10.600-08:00

As of right now, it appears, unless there's a whole lot of Kerry absentee ballots hanging around, that our Great Leader has won! Four more years! Four more wars! I am pleased to note that the youth vote was at its typical abysmal levels. Boy, what a bunch of slackers! But the Army will knock that out of them, yessirree! (Anybody feel a DRAFT in here?). I am just so excited about the

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1099158791827431502004-10-30T10:48:00.000-07:002004-10-31T09:20:14.240-08:00

This Pledge is said by all attendees at our Glorious Leader's rallys: I care about freedom and liberty. I care about my family. I care about my country. Because I care, I promise to work hard to re-elect, re-elect George W. Bush as president of the United States. I believe in one father, one son and one other son, who's now governor of Florida, who will take over after this son retires from

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1099079310608491642004-10-29T13:42:00.000-07:002004-10-29T12:48:30.606-07:00

I'm not sure what this creature is, but he was spotted on a hiking trail near Phoenix, Arizona. My suspicion is that this bug is a NADER SUPPORTER. He's funny-looking, and colored Commie red and Anarchist black. Any entemologists out there who know this bug's correct genus and species? Yours in Entemology, John Asscroft, Attorney General, Untied States of America

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1099034270107742712004-10-29T01:16:00.000-07:002004-10-29T00:17:50.106-07:00

Please remember that, because of the high turnout expected at the polls this year, Democrats will be voting on Tuesday, November 2nd, and Republicans will be voting on Wednesday, November 3rd. Be sure to remind all your friends! Yours in truthfulness, John Asscroft, Attorney General, Untied States of America

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1098915270666880442004-10-27T15:12:00.000-07:002004-10-29T17:48:14.380-07:00

Take that, you traitors to America! Yours in patriotic suppression of dissent, John Asscroft, Attorney General, Untied States of America

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1098906084870562562004-10-27T13:17:00.000-07:002004-10-27T13:01:43.146-07:00

As I mentioned before, if you vote for Kerry, puppies will EAT US ALL! But the proud men (and token woman) at Bush And Republicans against Felines (B.A.R.F.) have uncovered yet another conspiracy against America: John F. Kerry voted for $6 billion to terrorist felines. Now I hear you saying, "Kittens? Kittens will destroy America?". But you just do not know! That great hero Sluggy Freelance

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1098768526564921532004-10-27T09:44:00.000-07:002004-10-27T15:06:07.023-07:00

Okay, this is no surprise. But here's why you should vote for our Glorious Leader next week: He is Jesus's second cousin, and, like, God's appointed representative on Earth, with a direct line straight to the Big Guy in the sky! Our Dear Leader's glorious jobs record, where President George W. Hoover made sure that over 1,000,000 American slackers got kicked out of their jobs and replaced by

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1098776071585855502004-10-26T01:21:00.000-07:002004-10-26T01:10:35.243-07:00

Look, I know that there's over 300 tons of explosives missing that the IAEA had warned us needed securing, explosives that can be used to detonate a nuclear bomb, explosives that have been used in terrorist attacks against Americans, and that these explosives are the most powerful explosives short of an outright nuclear bomb, and enough explosives to make thousands of car bombs, but look, we had

General Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18118790719962047128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1098775237260459092004-10-26T01:17:00.000-07:002004-10-26T00:20:37.260-07:00

This is simply unacceptable. I know what music is supposed to sound like, and that ain't it. Yours in fury at insane rap "musicians", Singin' John Asscroft, Attorney General, Untied States of America.

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1098764113016196052004-10-25T20:53:00.000-07:002004-10-25T21:15:13.016-07:00

Murders are up, but that just means more people are getting to see Jessus early, Hallaleujah, AMEN! But the fact that overall crime is down proves that faith-based law-enforcement works. All you need is faith, faith my friends, and all crime will be down! We don't need more cops on the streets, we just need PRAYER! Now, I know those silly people in the reality-based community insist that the way

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258818.post-1098640851361363112004-10-24T10:41:00.000-07:002004-10-24T11:04:47.270-07:00

Some people wonder about the sanity of the Bush campaign putting out a campaign commercial showing puppies playing in the woods. But look: John F. Kerry voted to cut defense a jillion million times when he wasn't shooting unarmed teenagers in the back, forcing red-blooded American boys to be gay, and forcing young girls to have abortions. John F. Kerry is soft on puppies. If you elect John F.

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740895300121305244noreply@blogger.com